Thursday, February 7, 2013

Thursday Ramblings

Since Fr. Ben is still away, we've been going over the 10 commandments. A couple of weeks ago, one discussion has stuck with me and I'm not sure I can EVER get past it... forgiveness.

The timing couldn't be more wrong with this topic for me as it was coming up on the anniversary death of two childhood friends and their mother who were taken from their life, fifteen years ago. Fifteen years may seem long to many, but it still seems like it happened yesterday.

The death sentence came up in discussion. As always I just kept quiet, while the whole time I was asking God, how can I ever say the word 'forgive' for two men who took innocent lives. I know when the time comes, their judgement day with God will come; therefore, we're suppose to forgive. I don't feel I will ever be able to come to terms with that when it comes to these two men. So many thoughts ran through my head like, "Why are they still living?".... then a big thought hit me.... these two men have been alive since the murder LONGER than Adrian and Kyle was alive to experience life.

I've been praying about this a lot lately. It bothers me that I am very stubborn with this, but at the same time, forgiving to me means I am okay with what they did. Which I'm not, I will never be.

Going to try my best to not think of numbers and those two men... but to remember the times I had spent with them. Pray that one day the family will be able to be at peace. I cannot even imagine the heartache they feel.


  1. I don't think I can ever forgive on that subject either. There is no excuse for what they did how they did it and then seem to not be bothered by it... Maybe someday we will both find a way to "forgive' without feeling like doing it makes what happened ok....

  2. Forgiveness is hard even in everyday life small things.
    I do believe in capital punishment, not just because of Mark and Jesse. I believed in the death sentence before this horrendous tragedy happenend in our life. This is my opinion and I hope people respect me for my choice.
    As for forgiving Mark and Jesse, I don't think I can do that. I know I'm supposed to but as of right now that is not in my heart. But I also know God has given me strength to cope with their deaths and the aftermath of the trial. But forgiveness, I don't know, maybe in not even letting Mark and Jesse enter my mind I have forgiven and wiped it out subciencely? I don't know. This is such a person conviction for each one of us.
    I remember how hard the first year was for you. The nightmares, the images you would see of Adrian, etc. I felt so helpless as I couldn't do anything for you but to be there and pray. Maybe that is why God gave me the extra strength, to be there for you and the rest of the family.
    Your thoughts will come to terms with the outcome in a timely fastion.
    I love you, daughter. More than words can say.

  3. There was a letter to the editor in the local paper last week about our friends. I was so upset to read this person's graphic depiction of what happened to them and then to ask about why the death penalty has been applied yet. I think he could have made his point without talking so graphic about what happened. I cried reading that article more than I have since the tragedy happened.


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